Too Young For This
by shopaholic90
Summary: Set after the ep where Rory's grandparents invite Logan to dinner. This will go differently than the episodes aired after (or might not). Please read and review!
1. Default Chapter

**Too Young For This**

_Rating:_ PG  
_Written by:_ Me... Gina!  
_Disclaimer:_ I DON'T own any of theGilmore Girlscharacters or storylines or ... whatever!  
_N/A:_ This fic has also been posted on the WB boards, where I am ... again, shopaholic90 ... So don't think I stole this from her, it's me! I've adjusted a few words but other than that ... yep! PLEASE REVIEW! If I don't get reviews, I'll find it useless to write another chapter! So pretty please?

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**Chapter 1  
**

Lorelai dumped her handbag onto the countertop and jumped onto a stool. She grabbed the bell and 'ding'ed it a few times.  
"Waiter!" She cried. "Waiter! I need my liver pork mulligan stew and chardonnay!"  
On cue, Luke appeared, wiping his hands on his apron and not looking impressed. Lorelai beamed at him, fluttering her lashes in mock innocence.  
"First, I am NOT a waiter. I am a humble server who could be at Wall Street but has warm heartedly chosen to feed the little people. And SECOND, what, in the name of all that is compensatory, is a liver pork mulligan stew?"  
"I don't know. It was a spur of the moment comment! Kids do that nowadays, you know. You need to keep up with the times, old man!" She replied defensively.  
"You're a kid? And I'm an old man? I'm an OLD man?" He repeated incredulously.  
"I am a kid. In comparison to Elizabeth Taylor. Lollipops, boys, giggles and glitter!" She said to prove her point.  
"You're Elizabeth Taylor's kid, Mom?" Rory piped up as she took a seat next to Lorelai. "Gosh, grandma will be heartbroken. First the inn, next is France?"  
"Ha ha. Forgive my weak and non-believable laughter." She looked back at Rory, then at Luke. "IS Liz Taylor in France?"  
"Isn't Liv Taylor from New Zealand?" Rory quipped.  
"No! I mean, wait ... Was she?"  
"You two need to get out more. Somewhere where there isn't a TV or a magazine kiosk in sight. Like Belgium." Luke grabbed his rag and turned around to leave.  
"Oh, and waiter, get me a 2-creamed, 3-sugar-cubed coffee!" Lorelai said with an annoying little flutter of her fingers. Luke turned and shot her an annoyed look. She smiled in amusement back and turned back to Rory. "So, what's up?"

Rory took a moment to look up over exaggeratedly and lower her head to look at her mother.  
"Looks like it's the ceiling."  
"That's deep." Lorelai said before popping a mint candy in her mouth.  
"I know! They should write a book on the deep meanings behind simple comments." She lifted her hands and mimed showing each word of an invisible book title in the air. "'What does "that's hot" REALLY mean?'"  
"Ugh. Paris Hilton."  
"Yes." She mimicked. "Ugh!"  
"But seriously, got anything planned for today? I was thinking you, Sookie, and I could go and to that new restaurant that's opening for lunch. But if you're 'too cool' to hang out with your outdated mom and her inhumanly cute friend, then ... " She shrugged.  
"I'm not 'too cool'. Although I HAVE been told that I am 'very cool'. And no, I haven't got anything planned. Well, I was supposed to have a phone time with Lane, but I guess that's crossed off the list. I mean, you can talk to your best friend since who knows when any time you want, right?"  
"Right!" Lorelai said happily. "Unless the fat cats at Telus decide that we don't deserve the privilege and honour to have our own phone lines, thus we move to New York, where you can steal things like phones and get away with it."  
"Mom." Rory shook her head. "Your imagination bedazzles me more than sometimes."  
"I know," Lorelai tilted her head adorably. "But that's why I was wanted to play the hooker in the city play, right? Because I'm imaginative? I hear that's what people like in voluptuous women these days!"  
"Your coffee, Madam Uptight." Luke said tonelessly, placing a cup of coffee in front of Lorelai. "And an iced tea for the young lady." He put a tall glass of Nestea in front of Rory.  
"Did you hear that? I'M the young lady and you're the Madam of Uptight!" Rory said in a jokingly conceited way and took a sip of her drink from the straw. Lorelai mocked her with an unentertained smile and grabbed her coffee.

Lorelai drank her coffee as Rory sipped her tea. She looked at her daughter as she demurely held her cup and stared back at her.  
"So, ah ... " She said, lowering her mug. "How are things between you and Logan?"  
"Logan? Who is this Logan you speak of?"  
"Seriously, are you guys okay? Still recovering from the family freak-show that is my parents?"  
"Actually, no. Well, I mean, there was nothing to recover from." Lorelai gave her a 'look'. "Okay," Rory admitted guiltily. "Maybe there was a little bit to recover from, but we got over it pretty quick! He took me out for a good old-fashioned American burger and we drank with the good old-fashioned American fizzy drink."  
"Ah," Lorelai sighed reminiscently. "I remember back when I could drink good old-fashioned American fizzy drinks without worrying about my hips. Soak in your youth, my dear, it'll go away like THAT!" She snapped her fingers.  
"Like THAT!" Rory imitated, snapping her fingers as well.  
"Like what?" Luke inquired as he took the third spare seat at their table.  
"Like THAT!" Rory said, repeating her mock.  
"Heyy, you can't fraternize with the customers. You could get fired." Lorelai said with a poke to his chest.  
"I OWN this place." He reminded her.  
"And what a responsible man you are that if you indeed did such a heinous crime, you would fire yourself!"  
"Fire myself?" He repeated bleakly. "Why would I fire myself?"  
"Because you'll soon be a diner convict."  
"Like THAT!" Rory chirped with a snap.  
"Again, with the snapping. Why is she snapping?" Luke said tonelessly, looking at Lorelai for an answer.  
"Well, I ah, um ... You see, I have a very logical response to that, but I'll need some time to organize it out into letters that will soon form into words which will become sentences -- "  
"-- Which will become a Lorelai rant." He finished for her, standing up. "Okay, I think I've had my share of 'customer fraternization'. Gonna go cook."  
"You cook, mister." Rory said encouragingly.  
"And that, I will." He said with a small salute and left for the kitchen.

(cue commercial break)

Rory sighed and glanced at her watch. _He's late._ She thought thoughtfully.  
"I'm late!" Logan voiced her thoughts from behind her. She turned around to see him smiling his boyishly charming smile. "I'm late." He repeated, then pulled her into a hug. "I realize that. It's just my Lit. teacher kept me in after class to go over my essay on political affairs."  
"Ooh. Good?" She asked after they pulled apart and began walking hand-in-hand.  
"Pretty good. she kept saying things like 'You have such promise' and 'I see a bright future ahead of you, young man'."  
"Oh! Oh, that's great!" Rory beamed. "Look at you, all promising and young man-ish!"  
"Yeah, yeah." He glanced over at her then stopped, facing her. "Hey, so, um ... Is my dad treating you okay at your new job? Because I know he can get a bit fussy or ... not at all so, which can make you feel a bit out of the process ... "  
"No, he's -- That's scary how well you know he has that effect."  
"When the man's your father, it's even scarier."  
Rory smiled and squeezed his hand. "He's treating me _fine_. Seriously. Very nice. I'll give him coffee and he'll say 'thank you' and everything. None of that 'what, this is black? I asked for latte!' stuff many rude people are seemingly picking up nowadays. Or maybe that's just TV."  
"You're getting his coffee for him? He's making you get coffee for him? I'll talk to him." He immediately said, grabbing his cell phone.  
"No!" Rory grabbed his mobile away from him and gave him a stern look. "I'm more than coffee gal. I go to meetings and ... and stuff."  
"Important stuff?" He asked immaturely.  
"Very important. Sooo important."  
He looked skeptical, then grinned and nodded. "Okay. Very/so important is satisfying. Now, may I have my phone back?"  
"Ooh, but it's pretty. I think I'll keep it."  
"You can, if you want. I can get a new one."  
"I was kidding! You're being so sweet I'm getting a cavity!" She shoved his phone back in his hand. "Take it! You too-nice boyfriend of mine, you!"  
He paused, looking down at the phone. She looked down at it too, sharing the awkward moment with him.  
"I'm sorry." She said.  
"For what?" He asked, raising his gaze in surprise.  
"I said the 'b' word."  
"You did not!"  
"The OTHER 'b' word."  
"Hey," He said, pocketing his phone and taking her hands again. He raised them up and kissed her on the fingers. "Don't worry about it, Ace. You think I'm going to worry about being called a title that I'm supposed to be? When I become king of the world, I can't flinch every time someone calls me 'your majesty', right?"  
Rory grinned at him. "King of the world?"  
"Yes, don't you crush my childhood dream."  
"I won't! And a great king of the world you'll be!"  
"Thank you. I like to think so."


	2. They have SHRIMPS?

**_A/N:_ Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Particularly the lovely Mr. BALLS. I enjoyed reading your spazz attack and all I cansay is "anti-depressants". As one person has suggested, I've spaced it out a bit more, hopefully it's good! Please review again!**

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**Chapter 2**

"Your menus." A dressed-up waiter said and handed Lorelai and Sookie their own tall menus.

"Thank you." Lorelai said and mouthed an 'Oh, my God!' to Sookie as he turned and left.

"Lorelai!" Sookie smiled, looking around the elegant restaurant. "This place is so... posh! I'm so out of place being here!"

"You are not! And points to you for using the word 'posh'." Lorelai smiled back.

"How many other 9 month pregnant women in track suits do you see in here?"

"Well, none, but – "

"I feel like I should come here wearing a Donna Karan dress on a crisp night with a supermodel at my arm!"

"We can arrange that."

"But it's just so – _not_ 'casual lunch-time' place!"

"I know! Don't you hate me?" Lorelai opened her menu and scanned over the lunch specials. "Oooh... They have shrimp."

"They have shrimp? Lemme see that!" Sookie reached over to grab the menu from her.

"No!" She held it to her chest. "You have your own!"

"Oh," Sookie giggled. "Right." She opened her own menu and looked at the lunch specials as well. "Oh, my gosh, they have shrimp!"

"Is there an echo in here?"

"Who has _shrimp_ for lunch?"

"I don't know."

"It looks undercooked." Sookie observed, hiding her face behind the large menu book.

"Sookie, we haven't ordered anything yet."

"I know, but there's a preview picture beside it and it looks undercooked! I knew there had to be a catch! Pretty place but not well-prepared food!"

"How can you tell whether or not something's undercooked from a picture?" Sookie opened her mouth to reply when Lorelai continued, "Nevermind. Don't answer that." Just then, her cell phone rang from inside her handbag. A few people turned to stare at Lorelai as she quickly took it out and examined the caller ID.

"It's Rory." She flipped it open. "Hey, baby. What's up?" She listened for a few seconds. "Uh huh. Yeah, that's fine! We just ordered anyway... Yeah, sure. See you later. Love you." She closed it and put it back in her bag.

"What's the what?" Sookie inquired.

"She can't make it. Logan time."

"She _ditched_ us?"

"She ditched us."

"But who would ditch a pregn – "

"Rory."

"Do you have your orders figured out?" The waiter was back, with his order pad and everything. Lorelai looked at Sookie and they exchanged knowing grins.

* * *

Rory closed her phone and linked her arm around Logan's as they walked around campus.

"She's cool." She announced and put her phone in her pocket.

"Cool. So, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know! What do _you_ want to do?"

"I don't know what I want to do! I want to be with you!"

"Well, other than that!"

"Other than that... I want to see a movie."

"A movie? You're asking me to a movie? You're so cliché!"

"I can get even clichér and offer to take you to a romantic comedy. Isn't there a new Freddie Prinze Jr. one out?"

"I think the last new Freddie Prinze movie was out a few years back."

"Oh. Who would have thought?"

"Not me, that's for sure!"

"Well, okay." He thought for a minute. "To make it less corny, how about a cop action film?"

"Logan... "

"Horror?"

"Sold!" Rory smiled.

* * *

Luke wiped the diner counter as he listened to the radio behind him. 'American Woman' was on, and the diner was empty, so he felt safe in freely mouthing the words along and dancing a little to it. He was just in the middle of a small spin when he heard a chillingly familiar voice sing out, "Oh, Luuuke!"

"Jesus C –!" He nearly fell over but grasped the counter edge to keep his balance. He stood up properly and glared at the cheerful man smiling at him. "Taylor." He growled. "It's called knocking."

"Nobody knocks on a diner door, Luke!"

"They do when they see the diner owner having a private moment and would like to keep their life."

"Anyway, I came to tell you that... your offer is solid! Solid GOLD!" He smiled and clapped his hands together. "The house is yours!"

Luke froze. After half a minute, he stared at him incomprehensively. "Are you being serious, Taylor?"

"Absolutely, stunningly, wonderfully serious!"

Luke's jaw dropped slightly and he dropped his rag onto the floor. Slowly, he opened the counter door and walked up to Taylor so he was nose-to-nose. Or, rather, nose-to-chest. All of a sudden, he did the most un-Luke-like thing ever thought possible. He grabbed Taylor and hugged him tightly, jumping up and down a little.

"YES!" He shouted and let go a shocked Taylor. He galloped around the diner a bit and came back. "Can I see it?"

Taylor nodded, frightened, and rummaged through his jacket pockets to pull out the key. Luke slowly outstretched his hand and accepted the keys. He ran his thumb over the grooves and looked at Taylor somberly.

"Thanks." He said genuinely after a pause.

"Anytime, Luke." Taylor said, having recovered from the temporary insanity he had just witnessed. He smiled and walked out of the diner, leaving Luke a very happy and bemused man.


	3. Pike heads

**_A/N:_ THANKS for the reviews! I loved them! They're what's keeping this story alive! Thanks! Agh! I'm so happy! Did I say thanks already?**

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**Chapter 3**

"Somehow I don't think that the kangaroo was supposed to jump into the truck with the blonde." Rory said thoughtfully as she came out with Logan's arm wrapped around her.

"Yeah. It also kinda seemed out of place when it started singing 'You are my sunshine'."

"Or maybe the killer threw the kangaroo in to distract us."

"Well, it worked."

"Sufficiently!"

He smiled at her and kept on walking. Rory smiled back and walked with him when she saw a glimpse of the time on Logan's wristwatch.

"Oh, my gosh! It's three o'clock? It's _three_ o'clock?"

"No, my watch has been coded to have different numbers than they appear. If you have the proper deciphering tools, you'll find that 'three' actually means 'eight'. Yes, it's three o'clock. What's the big?"

"Nothing! Only I am about to be late for work – or... you know, my internship work! My iork!"

"I don't think my dad's about to fire you from your iork if you're fifteen minutes late."

"Well, you never know, do you?" She glanced at his walk again and moaned. "Oh, _no_, Manny likes to have his coffee at 3:04. I am leaving a potentially catatonic man without his coffee and that, my friend, could bring on Office War I and it would all be Rory Gilmore's fault!"

"You're overreacting." He said amusedly. "I'm sure Manny can keep his fuse in order for another fif –" He glanced at his watch. "Well, 16 minutes."

"16! That's horrible!" Rory began running for the street, waving her hand for a cab. Logan watched with a thoughtful expression, putting his hands in his pocket. Before he knew it, Rory had rushed back to indulge in a 10-second kiss with him. When their lips released, she immediately said "Bye!" and dashed off into the yellow cab before he could react.

(cue commercial break)

* * *

Lorelai and Sookie sat on Lorelai's couch, slouching to their furthest extent. Sookie's hand was on her bulging stomach and Lorelai's expression resembled that of a stoned crackhead. Lorelai's purse fell off the couch, but neither of them noticed.

"That," Sookie said slowly. "was quite a lunch."

"How were we supposed to know that ordering shrimp on the opening day came with a complimentary Caesar salad – in a bowl the size of the Coliseum, may I add --; a whole-sized chicken and steamed potatoes?"

"Don't forget the biscuits."

"And the biscuits."

"They're out of their minds." Sookie said wearily. "The cooking staff should be boarded into an asylum for the criminally insane. They should be charged with..." She took a second to think about it. Then looked up in an 'aha!' way with her index finger raised. "with overfeeding!"

"Yes, and thus fore leading to the implosion of our kidneys."

"I don't think the law likes people who cause kidney implosions."

"No, I don't either."

They both remained quiet for a few seconds when Lorelai jumped up and headed for the kitchen. "Want a Klondike?"

"Yes, please!" Sookie sang.

Lorelai came back with two Klondikes in her hand. She held one out for Sookie but pulled it back when she reached for it.

"What would _you_ do for a Klondike bar?"

"I'd strip down to my undies and do the Macarena!"

"Mmm, yeah, let's not test the integrity behind that statement." She tossed her the Klondike. They smiled at each other then proceeded in indulging in their ice creams.

* * *

Rory rushed into the newsroom and clutched her bag with both hands as she zigged and zagged past the crowd of employees. Manny began to approach her, opening his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Manny. I'll get your coffee in a minute. A minute and 15 seconds, tops!"

He soon disappeared as she made her way to Logan's father's office. She knocked and tried to catch her breath. She exhaled deeply and puffed her chest a little. She straightened as the door opened and Logan's father looked out at her.

"Hello there, Rory." He said cheerfully.

"Hi, Mr. Huntzberger, I just wanted to come by and apologize for being so late it will never happen again and if it does I give you full liberty and right to chop off my head and parade it around Stars Hollow and New Haven so that people know not to mess with you because that's what they did back in 16th century England they put victims heads on pikes as a warning to other people to not mess with them and so I thought maybe it's time to bring back the whole 'Revolution' era and have fun with that – "

"Rory, Rory. It's called breathing."

She obeyed.

"You came to my office to tell me you were late?" He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the same way his son did.

"Um... yes." She said feebly, looking down.

"You've got some cajones, kid. Nobody would do that around here. But I'm glad you told because actually, I have some errands to run in New York. I won't be back in a few days. I have to take my assistant with me, because... well, cool people do that when they have important business meetings to attend. All the staff here who are minimally qualified for the temporary replacement are either load-high on caffeine or an inch close to skipping around the world in hectic joy, so I thought..." He opened his arms towards Rory in a _ta-da!_ way. "Hey!"

Rory stopped for a second, forgetting to breathe again. He noticed. He grabbed her shoulders and repeated, "Breathing."

"Right. Yes. I momentarily forgot. I'm sorry... Mr. Huntzberger, are you asking me to take charge?"

"Not permanently, of course! Although, if you're too good and my employees decide to rebel and anoint you the manager of the newspaper... "

"Oh, my gosh!" Rory said excitedly, a smile spreading across her face like peanut butter. "Oh, my gosh. Mr. Huntzberger! I will... I will do my duties, sir! I will not lounge around doing nothing; I will get out there and _make a difference_! I'll – "

"I know you will." He said genuinely, then glanced at his watch. "Oh! The time. You have immaculate timing, young lady, but right now I have to catch my ride. You're in charge, don't forget!" He straightened his tie and walked out of the room and past Rory. She turned around and waved slightly as he left.

"Don't you worry, Mr. Huntzberger! If a single file is out of place in the cabinets – "

"Iwill restsafely assured I can put your head on a pike. I got it. Good luck, Gilmore!" The door shut behind him and Rory stopped. She took a minute to bask, then started jumping up and down in joy. She continued jumping as she turned around to see Manny glaring at her.

"Oh, Manny! Coffee! I got it!" She turned and fled for the coffee machine.


End file.
